Walking a Fine Line on a Slippery Slope

I've had a life. I see how slippery things can be.

~Annie Proulx

Even at my age, after all these decades of living, I still consider myself a work in progress. In many ways, I take pride in that—being a “work in progress”—as it tells me I’m still striving and learning and maybe most important, I’ve proven to myself I am able to change, alter or soften my opinions, my way of thinking, my outlook.

There have been dozens, possibly hundreds of times when I’ve shown intolerance for the opinions of others, when I’ve been less than respectful of another person’s point of view.

It is the province of knowledge to speak,

And it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Several years ago I audited a college class that was an adjunct to a writing course I was taking. We were going to learn to be critical thinkers.

Up to that time, I’d never heard the term “critical thinking.” When I parsed the two-word phrase, I knew I’d often been “critical” (in the derogatory sense and not in a manner involving skillful judgment as to truth and merit) and I have always been a “thinker.” I just never realized one could be proud of being a “critical thinker.” [cont'd]


Our instructor presented many examples; the class spent a great deal of time in conversations (one on one and as a group) and there were hearty discussions after watching films and reading the words of various others (some noted, some notorious, some not-so-nice).

That single semester gave me the tools I needed in order to become more tolerant of others’ opinions and more respectful of the choices others have made in their lives.

Of course, I also catch myself expecting (that old bugaboo: expectation!) to be treated the same. I expect my opinions to be given some thoughtful weight when I am speaking, and expect my life choices to be, if not approved of, at the very least accepted as what works or worked for me at the time.

Therefore, I walk a fine line, but it’s a slippery slope. I don’t want the person or persons with whom I’m interacting to become defensive, yet I definitely want my point of view heard so there can be a dialogue, a conversation, possibly a friendly debate.

A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying.

In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees,

he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.

 ~ Kenneth A. Wells

Most especially now—in these contentious times, amid all the hateful spewing and misinformation—most especially now, let us not be tainted by ego lacuna, that gap in moral thinking which skews logic out of all proportion.    

We all need to step away from the raging and ranting, the fear mongering and finger-pointing. One by one, by one…