A friend recently used the term “ambient intimacy” to describe the use of the ubiquitous “social media,” such as FaceBook, MySpace, Flickr and Twitter. The two-word term was new to me. Of course, I knew what “ambient” meant as well “intimacy,” but had never heard the two used together.
I’m way too literal, I suppose. In the case of social media, I’d more likely use the term “ambiguous interaction.”
This friend and I communicate at least weekly with e-mail and phone calls—keeping in touch, keeping tabs on one another. Four or five times a year, when she comes through my town on business, we carve out time to visit face-to-face.
The term, “ambient intimacy” arose on one of these face-to-face occasions. We were in a local bistro, enjoying, among other topics, a lively conversation about the importance of clear, attentive and sincere communication—whether with family, friends or in business.
Lila was sitting across from me, her eyes bright and expressive. I listened to her words, intent on what she was saying. I watched her face and her body language and added a comment now and then.
When our conversation died down a bit, Lila laughed and said “…now this is truly what I’d call ‘ambient intimacy.' ” My questioning expression gave rise to her explanation that the term had been coined to describe social media; not the type of conversation we were having. However, it surely seemed more apt in our case.
We were experiencing the joy of being good, “intimate” friends. Even though the café seemed noisy when we first arrived, our total concentration on each other and what was being said filled our senses; the noise level became simply an “ambient” hum in the background, not at all disturbing.
Communicating in this manner, with a dear friend, is life-enhancing for me. I’ve been truly “heard” by another and as she spoke to me she had my full attention.
