Authentic Writing & Living

Author Kim Severson states if a writer wants to “…talk about life lessons, [she has] to write about why [she] needed the lessons, then it’s like unraveling a sweater. If you’re going to be honest and tell your story, there’s just no other way than to do it as authentically as you can.”

As a teen no one knew how self-conscious I felt about almost every aspect of myself. The self-consciousness translated into aloofness. I comported myself, or tried to, as though I had “it” all together and (I now realize) even presented a haughty demeanor—a vicious circle for a young girl who desperately needed to be liked for who she was.

I had a physically present but usually emotionally distant father. When he became emotionally “present” it was most often in a verbally contentious (though not abusive) manner. I seldom discussed personal problems with my mother as I knew how desperately she needed her world to be (or appear to be) ever loving, peaceful and calm.

Maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve had difficulty opening up and sharing my
doubts, insecurities or problems with anyone—most especially those who I sensed genuinely cared about me. I disliked the rise of uncomfortable feelings when my mask of competency slipped to reveal vulnerabilities.

Even now, even today, even at this late stage of my life, the majority of my writing occurs when I'm searching for answers to perplexing personal issues.

In the past few years a slight change has taken place. I continue to first work through my feelings by writing. However, I am more willing to allow friends and family to see my vulnerabilities, insecurities and failings. As I have done this, they have become even more genuine and open with me. It’s a much nicer “circle” than the one I spun in for so many years.

Living authentically removes façades, which may leave us more open to pain, yet allows more humanity to shine and enrich our lives.